We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

When We Were Missionaries

from Narwhals are Real by Lightning Lucas

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price



These are true stories from our time in the Philippines from 2002-2005. I can just go on and on making up verses when playing this live.


When we were Missionaries, we had a maid,
not one who staid with us, but one who we paid,
to come to our house and deal with our crap,
so some quilt-making Mennonite grandmother's money might land in her lap.

Her name was Mayumi, or was it Mayomi, it wasn't Naomi,
that's too quilt-making grandmother Mennonite sounding like,
and Mayumi/Mayomi was a Filipina, and that's a fact.

When we were Missionaries, we had a cat, and then we had two cats, and then we had eight cats, and then we had 17 cats, and then I lost track of how many cats we had,
but my sister had names for the whole fleet,
like Simba and Nala and Amos and Pete, isn't she sweet.

When we were Missionaries, we had a dog,
just like Pavlov.
We got this do as a puppy, so we had to name it,
so I got a dictionary, started with A, went page by page, by page by page,
got to the word for Brie Cheese, we chose to spell it with two Es,
these are true stories.

When we were Missionaries, we often rode tricycles,
this is true,
they were really motorcycles with a side cart,
but we called them tricycles,
you should've see how many people they put in one,
it was like 17, and they were really noisy,
and there were no emissions standards,
that was standard.

When we were Missionaries, we ate a food
called Balout,
It was a fertilized duck egg,
and we agreed it was nasty,

When we were Missionaries, we had some pigeons,
they lived in our Mango tree, in a big cage covered in pigeon poop,
sometimes Mayumi/Mayomi would take some homey and make a stewy,
this was okay with us because we had quite a fewy

When we were Missionaries, we had a maid,
Mayumi/Mayomi, that was her name,
She ironed our underwear without any shame,
She ironed our underwear,


from Narwhals are Real, released February 17, 2014
Many many thanks to Mayumi/Mayomi.


all rights reserved



Lightning Lucas Harrisonburg, Virginia

On July 21, 2013 Lucas was directly hit by a freak lightning bolt. He lived to appreciate the stage name.

contact / help

Contact Lightning Lucas

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

If you like Lightning Lucas, you may also like: